Everyone has statements that were made to them that either radically shaped their outlook on themselves or stayed tucked in the back of their minds to spring forth at weak moments. Sometimes the words were spoken in jest (you know the old adage, "there's many a true word spoken in jest") and sometimes they were spoken in deadly earnest.
I know I have a few. Surprisingly enough, not all came from my family though they have had their share. I'll never be able to forget being called "The creative one." I certainly heard it enough. It would have not been so bad if my sister hadn't been called "the smart one." The implication came across strongly (to me at least) that I wasn't smart. When ever I ran (and still run) into a creative block, it caused me to doubt any creativity I have. I had moments where I believed that there was nothing I could do because I was only "the creative one." Memo on that to parents: Never pigeon hole your kids by labeling them. It will effect the rest of their lives.
There are three other family related ones (to date). "You're not strong enough" from my father when I asked to learn to drive his Corvette when I was 20. This was completely ignoring the fact that I had already driven without power steering and brakes when they went out in my own car twice. My sister got to learn to drive a standard transmission on that car though while she was still learning how to drive. "You're a bitch" came from my mother one night when I was a teen. I don't remember the argument that prompted it but I do remember her trying to re-write it the next morning by saying she was not calling me a bitch but saying I was acting like one. I did not so much buy that considering what the original statement was. The last was when I was called a "bad daughter." Slight explanation to preface this, patience as a concept is not so much understood by my family in general and not at all by my mother. She gets very cranky when you don't do exactly what she asks as soon as she asks. This has led to many interrupted dinners when she finishes eating first. So, apparently, not leaping to do her bidding made me a bad daughter. At this point in my life, my thought was "fine, I'm a bad daughter." I'm never going to forget that she said that though.
I have only had 3 other statements (again to date) that have stuck with me. All came from people I considered close friends. I'm not getting into deep explanations with these but here they are in their slack-jaw inducing glory:
"Why do lemmings run off cliffs?" When I asked why I was his friend.
"You're not a nice person." I had told her why I wasn't offering to help fold her laundry. Really, I hate it when people do that do me. I always have to go back and re do it after they leave.
"I just can't be that close to you." From a guy who was a good friend and potential romantic interest. We still talk. We kind of have to since we work together but we aren't close anymore. I still have the urge to smack him on a fairly frequent basis but hit the "what the fuck was I thinking" stage in regards to romance a few weeks after that statement.
We all have these floating around in our heads leaping to the forefront at the worst possible moments. Someday I'll figure out how to delete them.
