When I was greeted by a student yesterday, she told me, "You look very pretty today." Outwardly, I simply said, "thank you," but inside I was thinking, "What? So I look like crap every other day?"
This seems to be a woman specific problem. The guys I know don't seem to have any issues with accepting a compliment. Hell, most will nod like it was expected without saying anything. Women, speaking in general, will brush off praise like it is undeserved.
"Oh, this old thing" about a piece of clothing or accessory.
"Pardon the mess around the house" even though it's been hoovered within an inch of it's life.
"The team put in such a great effort" even if you were the only one doing the work.
"It didn't turn out bad" even if it was perfection itself.
What does this say about society that we as women are taught the beauty or skill of our possessions and work should not be deserving of praise (because obviously we could not be the cause of that beauty or skill)? That we are not supposed to accept compliments so we don't become "prideful" or "uppity?" Hell, what does it say about us a women that we conform to it?
It has taken me years, yes, YEARS, to get to the point where I simply say, "thank you," when complimented and even then I poke fun or don't believe in internally. A board I was once a member of years ago had a thread talking on this subject. I was one of the people who agreed to try out saying, "thank you," and nothing more when I got a compliment. It was hard work and, trust me, if we admitted to explaining or brushing off when complimented we would get the proverbial smack upside the head with a wet ferret, virtually speaking. I still struggle with it though at least my commentary has subsided to mental. If I'm complimented on a specific accessory or piece of clothing, I share the store name and if it was on sale. The sale thing is bragging and the store name is all about sharing the love. I couldn't care less if someone has the same clothes as me. If they like it, why shouldn't they have the chance to buy it too?
For others out there, do you struggle with this as well? What changes have you made to overcome the problem? Do you even see it as a problem?
Comments